untitled
by ArkanianHyde
Summary: trials of kenshin's love for his dead wife or for kaoru
1. Chapter 1

trials of kenshin's love for his dead wife or for kaoru

Disclaimer: I, keikii, do not own any rights to samurai X or any of its  But I'll keep writing about them, because I can, so there!

Untitled chapter one

The eyes…

I remember seeing those eyes. With her, he was happy. He was genuinely happy. One could see it in those eyes. They were those of a man who saw things, a man who wanted to forget. And he did. He wanted to forget everything when he was with her. He wanted to forget everything for her. He wanted to forget everything but her. It was there. It was all in his eyes…

I remember I saw them sitting silently under a cherry tree in the orchard. It was in bloom. I remember how the blossoms fell around them. She smiled at him and played with his hair. He looked at her. It was there. That-feeling-those words. It was as though he was saying 'I love you, and I'd do anything to protect you. I'd kill for you.' It was then that I saw it a bit of his past. His part in the war. His war? The bloodshed, the blood he shed. I'd tried to see more, to find out more about this man's past. But it had gone as fast as it appeared. But I knew. It was there, ever present in his eyes…

I also remember the look in his eyes the day he left, the day she died. They were those of a man who saw things, a man who wanted to forget. And he did. He wanted to forget everything when he was with her…

But he was without her…

He wanted to forget everything for her…

But why, if she was no longer there….

He wanted to forget everything but her….

But at the same time he wanted to forget her…

To forget what he did to her….

What he didn't do for her…

The eyes…

They showed me a lot about the man. They showed me the little boy crying-to be known? To be let out? To be?

The eyes…

They showed me…

They showed a man heartbroken, without life, without a reason to live.

They showed me his soul.

NB- told in the POV of a girl from the outside. She had nothing to do with the story, other than intro, but that's it.


	2. Chapter 2

Untitled chapter 2

The picture of her was at the back of his head, old, like a faded photograph, but the look in her eyes, the light of her smile never faded. The moments were never gone. The first day he saw her, a vision of beauty. She had that natural look, which others her age could never have. "Never…" A smile played on his lips, threatening to emerge. That night at the bar… "She was drunk." A sharp pang struck as he let out a chuckle. It was unclear, everything about that night, his feelings for her that surfaced later on, whether or not the 'incident' earlier had affected her, her feelings for him later on…

_Of course they were true. Don't doubt her. She doesn't deserve that._

Or what happened later on…

The smell of her hot blood as it splattered on his face, seeing the look in her eyes as the blood continued to flow as she fell. The feel of her body as the life drained way. It wasn't supposed to happen like that.

"_Why didn't you stay out of the way?"_

He continued on his way. The blossoms flew around him, and as they did he saw her…

He saw her…


	3. Chapter 3

Untitled

Chapter 3

_**A/N: - hangs head REAL low I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'll try to do it over. It won't be as good as the original cuz I deleted the story from my system and I dumped the original manuscript. But I'll try anyway. hehe. .**_

_------------------------------_

Yahiko looked at the two of them over his bowl of noodles. Neither said anything. He swallowed his mouthful of food and tried (futilely) to have a conversation with Kaoru. "So, whaddja buy t'day?"

"Yknow, some food, a few things for the house, and new clothes for you. You're getting bigger ya know." She shut up after that. _That's it? That's all you're going to say? _Yahiko stuffed another helping of noodles in his mouth and chewed slowly. He thought of starting a conversation with Kenshin but thought better of it. Lately the rurouni had been even more remote (was that even possible?) than usual. Also, the boy noticed, Kenshin's scar seemed deeper.

Something was wrong but what was it? Yahiko usually made it his business to know about things, especially when it concerned his 'family'- Sanosuke, Megumi, Kenshin and Kaoru. Even the little girls. When he didn't know it bothered him. He wanted to know-

-"What the hell is going on?" he found himself standing and pounding on the table. Both Kenshin and Kaoru looked at the boy with a mixture of confusion and concern on their faces. "Uh-" Did he just say that out loud? "Uh- hmm…" he slid back into his seat and pushed more noodles into his mouth. He stared at the near empty bowl.

_What the Hell is wrong here?_

_--------------------------------_

_**A/N: -Hmmm… I don't like it but it'll have to do. If anyone read this before I replaced the chapter (and yes I realize how stupid that was) and has a copy of this chapter **__**especially**__** please email it to me so I can post the proper version.**_


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer- you know it

Untitled chapter 4

Kenshin walked down the High Street thinking. He was thinking of Kaoru. He was thinking of the determination on her eyes, the way they shone when she is faced with a new challenge. Her smile, that simple grin, the line stretching from one cheek to the other. He liked her hair, the way it flowed over her shoulders. It reminded him of-

_(Tomoe, your true love, not this-)_

-flowing water.

_(A stagnant pool)_

"_What the hell is going on here?" _

The boy's simple question….

He knows… it's-

_(A danger to you)_

-nice that he knows. It can-

_(Cause danger in your life)_

-help to get rid of the burden.

_(Burden? True love, true heart's desire is not a burden.)_

I hope he finds out the exact problem.

_( Tomoe is not a problem. Your past, both your pasts are not problems.) _

I hope he knows….

The blossoms fell at his feet.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer stuff: - lalala. Don't got no rights here.

XXX

Untitled chapter 5

Yahiko sat by the stream, thinking. What exactly as wrong?

_Kenshin and Kaoru..._

Why didn't anything fit anymore?

_Did it to begin with?_

It always did fit. Everything was always alright between them, between Kenshin and us.

_Did it? Was it?_

Didn't it? Wasn't it?

Yahiko sighed and closed his eyes. Kenshin… his eyes… Amber eyes…

Kenshin, sword in hand, ready to fight…

Kenshin, in the air, coming down to deliver the blow…

Kenshin… "I'd kill for you…"

The boy opened his eyes. "What the hell…?"

I'd kill for you… the words echoed in his head

"Kenshin."

Yahiko racked his brain for clues. Is it relevant? If so, how? Why were his eyes like that?

_You know..._

There has to be a reason why. Why his eyes were amber, why I had that-dream?

_You know…_

What is it exactly, the thing holding the two back.

_You know…_

"I know… what do I know?"


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Kaoru sat in the garden, supervising her young charge. He has learned a lot since he had first come to the dojo. He is more self-controlled, more disciplined, but he still has his faith in his family's honor. Very admirable…

"_What the hell is going on here!"_

The boy's cry-or sudden outburst- had struck her.

Something was wrong then, but what could be wrong? Did it involve Kenshin? Kaoru drew something in the sand. Yahiko's instincts were usually correct and she trusted them.

But what could be wrong?

"Kaoru?" looking up from her daze, she saw Yahiko's innocent face, his eyes, full of concern, looking deep into hers.

"Kaoru, are you okay?" laughing softly, she sighed.

"Yes, Yahiko, I'm fine, nothing's wrong. Practice. You're improving greatly."

Nothing's wrong…

Nothing's wrong… I promise…

_Innocent eyes, yet they've seen so much…._

Keep your innocence close, Yahiko. Keep it near…


	7. Chapter 7

Untitled 7

Chapter 7 

"It's Kaoru, Kenshin," Sanosuke said. "She's sick."

Kenshin paused in shock, yet stood waiting for the sharp pang to hit.

_If you loved her, you would have felt it…_

Sanosuke stared at the fixed figure that was Kenshin.

The blossoms flew about them.

"She needs you home. Yahiko's really helping out but he's still a kid."

Kenshin stood in silence.

"Why aren't you going home?"

_If you loved her, you'd have gone, and yet…_

He heard no more…

A petal fell on is head.

_If you loved her…_

Kenshin felt a sharp pain across his face, and tasted blood.

"What the hell is wrong with you!" Sanosuke shouted. The wind blew furiously around the two. "The woman you love-

_Love_

"-is ill. She's bed-ridden-

_Diseased whore_

"-and all you could do is stand there?" The wind stopped suddenly. Sanosuke looked disgustedly at the man. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Kenshin looked up at the retreating figure of his friend.

His eyes…

_Love…_

Those amber eyes…

_What is love…?_

Ready to kill…

_This is love…_

Die for those you love…


	8. Chapter 8

Untitled 8

Chapter 8

Her usually supple body seems thinner; the skin is closer to the bones. _I hope she's not sick_ … Yahiko's eyes brimmed with momentary tears. _I hope she's well…_

Kenshin's not here… He's always here when Kaoru's ill.

_I'll take care of you, Kaoru…_

The boy's simple promise meant a lot to her, he saw it in her eyes.

"I'm fine, Yahiko, really. Thank you for offering though."

Oh God. Her smile. It's pained.

Kenshin, come home.

The tears flowed down his face. "Kenshin…Kaoru…"

Kaoru pulled him near. "Don't cry Yahiko. Don't let the tears fall. Be strong." He held her thin hands in his.

So fragile…

Be well, Kaoru…

I don't want to lose another mother…


	9. Chapter 9

Untitled 9

Untitled 9

"Kenshin…"

Yahiko stood in the yard, leaning on a broom. Why isn't he here yet?

_Because he doesn't love her_

He should have been here. He should be in there.

Yahiko looked with tear-filled eyes at Kaoru's room. She's sick. Megumi confirmed it, but what ails her?

_Heartbreak. She knows his true heart's desire…_

"Why isn't he here yet?"

A warm hand lay on his shoulder; a familiar voice spoke.

"Yahiko."

_Kenshin!_

"Where is she?"

The boy pointed to the room. Such elation in those innocent eyes!

"She should be rested by now. Could you take her to the orchard? The trees are in bloom."

A quick flash in the former assassin's eyes went unnoticed by the boy.

"She'll enjoy it." he said, stepping into the room.

_**(Nothing's wrong, I promise…)**_

_Yahiko!..._

_**(Be strong…)**_

_Help me!..._

_**(For me…)**_

_Kenshin…_

I know…

I know…

"Kenshin!"

He found them dead under the cherry tree. It was in bloom…

--

Nb- okay here is where Yahiko finds them. Big dramatic scene, tears, curses and the like. As the screen (if it was animated that is) zooms out, you would see the shape of a woman in the petals as they blew around them. This would be Tomoe. She took the form of the cherry blossoms. Every time the flowers made their appearance Kenshin was confused and suffered from conflicting feelings about Kaoru. Mmhmm. grins(Ahh.. lit student! Miss, feel proud.) Well, the story was originally about Yahiko but it developed as such… oh well!

Dude! I just realized! Nuh a pun so much, but still clever wordplay… I remember reading that the sakura were "stained with blood" because of the warring past that Japan had… or sum to that effect…and considering the ends of both chicks and by the hands of the same assassin(very loose reference here) the supernatural comes in…

Why am I analyzing my bad fan fiction when I should be doing lit!


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